another day.

CARMEN! says: (9:03:25 PM)

i just wanted to tell you that i like sitting with you in the sun

CARMEN! says: (9:06:31 PM)

it also makes me feel less feeble.

CARMEN! says: (9:06:46 PM)

those are rare moments.

the wallflower.

this book has been one of my all-time favourites.

it's the book which shifted my perspective on certain aspects of life.

it's the book which powered my love for driving.

it's the book which made me believe in the simplicity of infinite,

and appreciate this simplicity, the simple life, filled with complexities.

i don't want it to be turned into another trend, where others quote it for the mainstream effect rather than understand the underlying meaning and appreciate it's beauty.

i want this to remain forever, as a work of art.

japan.

married to infinity.

i came across this guy's videos on youtube, whilst net surfing for inspiration, and his ideas- stream of consciousness has quenched the thirst for the inspiration i desire.

his work is the epitome of creativity and offers a differing perspective.

in all honesty, it's very beautiful.

this one is mind-blowing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5OB6UdlR9A&feature=player_embedded

the world is much and stranger than you have been lead to believe

there are extraordinary things in your every-day lives

there are hidden treasures in familiar shadows

you have been kept shielded

shielded from the dangerous and untamable world of the actual

we hand it all to you on a plate packaged and pristine

the blandly mass-produced trinkets

the omnipresent corporate cafes

the unchallenging

brainless

autotuned

overprocessed

media that fills your screens and airwaves

we've anaesthetised you like a Huxleyan Soma

with all the aroma of neatness and control

whilst the disorder of your anarchic nature has been pounding at your soul

we can never be like you

so we reduce you to simplicity

but you have sparks of divinity

you are married to infinity

we make your imperfections but in fact they are the diamond of your being

and they will always offer unimaginable variations you have forgotten how to dream because we have removed it from your language but there are things inside you that are mysterious and magical and impossible to explain and if anything cannot be rationally explained then our machines will not compute

you are being watched, my friends

you are taxed livestock you are numbers on our screens

and you are seeking little other than the peaceful parade of pictures on screens

the tranquil melody of corporate lullaby

this is an invitation put down your newspapers

turn off your tvs

because there is a war being waged for your minds

and you're starting to feel scared

you're starting to forget just how free and powerful

you really are

deep inside you there is a roaring fire that is not cooled by comfort or tamed by fear

a fire that burns in all things

a fire that can drag your fellow beings out of stagnant waters

and re-imagine your world

with no leader or station no grants from rich foundations

a world that is not made of atoms

but stories

a world that shifts its shape with every passing daydream that intervenes your daily routines and the narcotic moments of creative bliss

the bizarre stomach flutterings with the lovers you kiss

the complex structures you devise and the endless nights

shooting stars into your eyes

there are trails of light in your collective dreams

there is sentience in your discarded machines

everything in this world is intoxicating

everything is on fire all the time

and you are bound only by the limits of your imagination

everything else will follow

the world will follow

as above

so below

a new heaven

and a new earth..

follow the white rabbit.

extension two; fate;

something that unavoidably befalls a person.

chance;

the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted,understood, or controlled.

''Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.''

let me tell you why you're here.

you're here because you know something.

what you know, you can't explain, but you feel it. you felt it your entire life.

that there is something wrong with the world.

you don't know what it is. but it's there.

like a splinter in your mind.

driving you mad.

it is this feeling that has brought you to me. it is all around us. even now in this very room. you can see it when you look out your window. or when you turn on your television. you can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.

it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

the truth, that you are a slave.

like everyone else you were born into bondage. into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch.

a prison for your mind.

i carry your heart with me.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)

i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant,
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart..

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

- Edward Estlin Cummings.

captain of my soul.

Mr. Turner to Extension 2, 2011

Hi there. In response to a question from Phoebe about what exactly I want you to do in class on Tuesday, here's an answer.

I'd like you to have thought long and hard about what exactly it is you want to pursue for your Major Work. If you have an author/director/etc as focus for a critical study you could talk about how much you liked a book of his/hers that you've read. If you don't have an author/composer/etc as focus but you've got an idea/concept you'd like to pursue, then talk to us about that and where/why you want to pursue this idea. If you're writing a short story the same rules apply: which authors/texts have you read that have inspired you to write? Was it the subject matter, the way they wrote, the structure, the characters etc? You could talk to us about ideas you have for plot/character/structure. It will only be a short informal talk - I will encourage other class members to ask you questions and/or I will ask some questions.

The intention is to get you thinking and focussing your ideas: start big and then refine and refine. You could talk about the areas of research you're going to do but have not yet engaged with, books you really want to read because you think they're interesting/important/etc and you believe will help you define and refine your ideas. And it's also to put you on the spot a bit.

It's designed to be a co-operative, sharing, thought-provoking and (perhaps even) inspirational environment.


Mr Turner

this was posted on the website for the extension two english students in our class.

start big start big start big.

i know i want my focus to be about poverty.. but i don't know what EXACTLY i want to incorporate. i really want to do it.. but i'm scared.. i'm not sure whether i should continue with it or not.

the following quotes i'm recording, for sparks of inspiration..

these quotes have been on one of my favourite tvshows, and their aim has always been to motivate. to inspire.

this is the only thing on my mind.

there is no privacy if it cannot be penetrated.. no secret can be kept in a civilised world.

society is a masquerade ball, where everyone hides their real character and reveals it by hiding.

- ralph waldo emerson

you can not run away from a weakness.. you must fight it out or perish.

and if that be so, why not now?

- robert louis stevenson

do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. and do not be troubled about the future, because it is yet to come. live in the present.. and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

- ida scott taylor

There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose the ventures before us.

- william shakespeare

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desire can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
-Ayn Rand

most of our life is a series of images.. they pass us by like towns on a highway but sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. and we know that this instance is more than a fleeting image. we know that this moment- every part of it will live forever.

Henry James- 'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.'"

John Steinbeck- 'Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

J.S

you meet people.

gain them. hurt them. lose them.

you're at a stage where you realise having friends doesn't necessarily translate to dependence, rather a source of inspiration and motivation..

however, there are those people that you have the fortune to come across.. who completely knock you over- not necessarily in a bad way.

and i've had that opportunity.

11 years ago.

it's as though you're fighting the longest battle.. it's hard. it's raining. it's muddy. the trenches are deep, the loss of blood is swarming the surroundings.

and you crave for that life support. a source of inspiration. a lightbulb. first aid. home. belonging... a friend.

this girl, she's been that light-bulb.

''you're a figher, jennifer sarker. you're there when everything has forsaken me.. don't feel stupid for losing the 'pure innocent' person you were.. because you right now, are one of the greatest people i have ever met.

and i don't want that to change''.

sure, people change.. you will, i will.

and i want us to change together because to be quite honest, i don't know what i'd do without you. and i don't want to know.

so don't let any pathetic excuse for a person let you down and determine your future. ''you're the master of your fate, you're the captain of your soul''

- by some famous poet guy.

it's our last year.. don't wast time on those who aren't worth it.

right now, YOU are the only person who is worth anything.

we'll do this together.

because you can't rise without a fall.

it's time to rise.

i love you.

normal.

i don't normally do this.

talking about annoyance and disappointment. 

sometimes though, i can really feel it growing. i despise the feeling.

when you've grown up, lacking self-esteem at times, it's hard to gain it back.

you lose friends, you gain friends, but it all comes at a cost.

you just don't know what's real or fake anymore when it comes to friendship.

most of my friends are wonderful, and i'm happy where i am with them.

my family- we have our ups and downs.

some people, i honestly don't know what their problem is.. actually  i do, their problem is me.

i admit, i haven't been the best person throughout the years.

but i have never intentionally hurt others.

even the road to hell can be paved with good intentions.

it's upsetting that we're surrounded by really selfish characters. and they paint ugly lines on values and thoughts held dear.

and i don't want anything to do with these people.

i don't want fake friends. i'd rather real enemies. atleast they're decent enough to be honest.

knowing that people talk about you negatively, it does sting sometimes.

especially when pretense of genuinity is the only thing which holds them together.

and one normal action is turned into something worse with their words..

i'm not new to the art.

i just don't want to have to always be exposed to the hate.

manipulation; it's the worst.

and anyone who uses others for their own selfish gain, are people who deserve sympathy.

they're dead on the inside.

this world is definitely not perfect.

and i'll never let their games affect me.

i don't suck up to others and never plan to.

i want to be a better person, and i wish i had that push from my bestfriend.

or from anyone.

i'm not dependent on others, and definitely don't want to be dependent on her.

i don't want to go to others and expect them to make me feel better, because the pressure is intense and no one accomplishes it effortlessly.

don't want to ever worry about the way the world sees me.

because it's they way that i see the world which matters.

even though it's ugly at times- it does give opportunity. 

and you have to work hard to earn it.

and not take advantage of anything, whether it be circumstance or friendships, the way some do.

i don't want, i don't need.

i believe in opportunity. i'm reaching for something more.

seven days.

one week.

- not excited as i should be.

but the list continues.

i've wanted these two things for nearly a year, and now finally, in a matter of a week or so, they'll be mine. (:

- 3 by dolce&gabbana.

- tiffany&co keychain.

a little insight into the materialistic side.

blood red.

it's nice to sit back and reflect on things, whilst there's depressing music playing in the speakers above you, and fish swimming in the fish tank against the opposing wall.

i grabbed hot chocolate with my friend today, and we just talked about.. stuff, i guess.

a combination of all things good and bad.

i like those moments.

- you realise what you lack and what you want.

or where you're headed, if you are heading anywhere.

she told me how she paints in her sparetime, i think it's pretty impressive.

i don't have that artistic ability, i can't draw for shit.

but i can take a snapshot.

this is a photo of a photo, of an eagle that she drew.

it actually quite reminds me of her. falcon. claws. red.

it's stunning.

it's striking.

the red is quite haunting.

the best thing about this captured falcon/eagle is that, it symbolises something inside of ourselves, a certain potential waiting to be set free.

this is how we are inside, and i want to spread my wings.

i'm not confident about alot of things. 

but i wish i had the confidence to fly.

the list.

it is my birthday in less than 25 days.

it's daunting.

older.

wiser? 

ha.

i might not exactly want all of these/ get all of these for my birthday,

i want them nevertheless.

theory dress, reduced from 400 to 200 dollars. (:

-victoria's secret garden, perfume.

- canon eos 5D.

- haha yes, snow tigers. (:

- pretty little ornaments in my hair, as it is pulled up in a mad bun. =D

-  the most beautiful, simple cake.

-13 inch, macbook pro.

it's 2:07 am.

quite tired. my eyes are droopy. i'm watching how i met your mother. it's hi-larious. 

more to come.

''god left this place a long time ago''.

blood diamond- a blend of fact and fiction.

civil war. terror. bloodshed.

for school, my assessment task was to write a speech for module C, which deals with the ways composers represent real events through the influence of their social and historical context.

we had to choose and analyse a film and compare it with United 93, and evaluate the veracity (truthfulness) and techniques used by the composers in filming their version of historical events.

it may be a bit tacky and unstructured, however,

this is my version;

‘’The world wants what we have and we- have it cheap’’

In the film, Blood Diamond, directed by Edward Zwick, the title and quote refers to blood diamonds mined in African war zones and sold to finance insurgency and thereby profit diamond companies across the world. 

The movie is inspired by the true story of how the illegal sale of smuggled diamonds helped fuel the civil war in Sierra Leone. In contrast, United 93 is inspired by the September 11^th attacks focusing on that specific event and its timeframe of nearly two hours, as opposed to Blood diamond’s more fictitious plot of a few weeks.

The film contains many references to bloodshed in the manner of quotes, disturbing visuals and the motif of bloodstained diamonds to demonstrate how the world is corrupt and interconnected, assisting in the exploitation of developing countries and human labour, “they're not financing the war, but they're providing a means to keep it going”. These references provide veracity of the harsh conditions and a sad visual essay of suffering.

By casting well known actors such as Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly and Leonardo Di Caprio, who plays the lead role as Danny Archer, the director has sensationalised the movie for it to appeal to a wider audience adding to the film's entertainment value. By filming on location, the attention to detail used to for the plot and characters, assists in developing the verisimilitude. Language and military jargon in both films such as the native African language and the military jargon in the control centres contribute to the veracity.

The actors cast in 'Blood Diamond' contrast to those in 'United 93', as Zwick cast award-winning actors to ensure the quality, whereas Paul Greengrass used unknown actors to portray the passengers, to establish authenticity and to emphasise that the heroic acts were done by ordinary people, keeping the focus on the actions rather than the actors. This is a more realistic approach to the event allowing the emotional connection between the characters and the audience to escalate.

 

Solomon, played by Djimon, is a fisherman who is enslaved by the RUF (revolutionary united front). His family is torn from him and Dia, his son, is taken as a child soldier. The issues of poverty, refugee camps and child soldiers are addressed very clearly through the events surrounding his family.

The RUF prefer children because it is so much simpler than indoctrinating grown men who have a strong hold on what is right and wrong. Through an emotionally deprived environment and the use of hard drugs and alcohol, children are tricked into thinking it is right to murder their own people. As a result, they are dehumanized. Subsequently Dia yells 'Enemy, enemy!'  at the sight of his father. Although their father-son relationship is re-established, in reality, it is not as easy to overcome such brainwashing.

 

Various camera techniques and angles are used to present the fictional account of the historical event. The scene where Danny and Solomon are fleeing an attacked village, is filmed using tracking shots to follow the pair's critical and chaotic escape. Non-diagetic music is used to cultivate suspense and serve the movies purpose as a political thriller. It is during the numerous war scenes that African tribal music is included, normally consisting of deep, low drums accompanying images of people fleeing as RUF trucks head towards villages to destroy them. Danny and Solomon escape onto a barren road with the government troops on one side and the RUF on the other.

This represents the battle between 'good and evil', and how the people of Sierra Leone are caught directly in the middle, the ones who ultimately suffer the consequences. This idea is similarly captured in the United 93 flight scenes. Danny and Solomon flee but it is amidst all the smoke from the bombs and gun powder that a mid long shot shows the silhouettes of the government soldiers kneeling and raising their hands in surrender.

A similar scene is portrayed in 'United 93' when the terrorists first attack and announce their presence. A second skin camera placement is used to effectively show the chaos. Tilt shots help to create a sense of panic and terror. Unlike 'Blood Diamond', the majority of 'United 93' is filmed from one location; the plane. This adds to the verisimilitude by attempting to appropriately recreate the events which occurred on the flight. The passengers are confined and trapped within the aircraft, unable to escape the acts of terrorism, which is juxtaposed to the war zones that Danny and Solomon escape from.

Blood Diamond successfully achieves a fictional account, rather than a broad true story or a documentary.  The film is focused on one victim, one diamond smuggler, one journalist and one child soldier.  By deriving from the truth and emphasizing on one adventure it parallels to United 93, which focuses on one event. Blood diamond’s reference to America, shows its cultural differences as do the opening scenes of United 93, establishing American culture and the cultural gap.

‘’In America, it's bling bling. But out here it's bling- bang.’’

neurotic.

head-fuck: a person/object who/which spends all hours toying with others' minds.

so..

why toy with people's minds. is it going to personally achieve anything-

satisfaction or pleasure?

why make yourself out to be a completely complex creature when in all honesty, you know you're transparent.

there's nothing to you. you're a window pane.

why create a web and tangle yourself in it, why live by the word's of others, why make yourself a replica of society's entertainment sources.

i've come to realise-

when we hear a song, watch a movie, watch a show-

we find resemblances to our characters and our lives and find satisfaction in keeping to that image and the story.

we become puppets of someone-else's design, and dispose of our own reality, and leave ourselves behind..

why tangle yourself in that web of lies.

it's a game- you and i both know.

maybe your actions are unintentional, but it's not the intention, it's the interpretation.

maybe it's normal to you.

maybe you're creating a trail, completely unaware.

maybe i'm rambling- seeing a scenario, building the tension in a harmless situation.

maybe i'm wishing for something that's not there.

i wish you would stop pretending.